Imprints

When we skip getting to know someone, we start filling in the blanks ourselves, deciding who they are, what they believe, what they’re capable of. All of which limits potential power.

I want to thank you all for sending good wishes about us losing our friend and co-worker Mike Evans. And thank you to so many who never met Mike but still contributed to the fundraiser for his wife Brenda.

While Mike was in hospice, I asked why he thought it was so important to do one on ones - having an intentional conversations with people to understand their story and motivations. He said, “We have to know what’s most important to the person.”

He then said something I’d never heard. “We cannot put our imprint on someone, which we will do if we don’t slow down and get to know them.”

I’ve been thinking about this since. Imprints.

When we skip getting to know someone, we start filling in the blanks ourselves. We decide who they are, what they believe, what they’re capable of.

This is one of the great challenges for organizers right now. We live in a culture that has become faster and faster, including the pace at which we size people up.

Sometimes they’re people we’re actually deeply aligned with, but we’ve already placed them in a box because of their race, age, gender, or which organization they’re with. Other times they’re people we genuinely disagree with on important things, but with whom we agree on enough things that we need to figure out how to work together if we truly want to win.

Mike has me thinking about who I’ve skipped getting to know and then placed an imprint on. And how has that limited the power we could’ve built together?

At a moment where we need to get much more serious about whether we are actually building power, it’s something we should all think about.